The article “Fear Is a Framing Problem” delves into the notion that our earliest encounter with the world is marked by fear, and much of our lives involve navigating this ingrained sensation. It brings forth the concept that our daily actions are often geared towards mitigating fear, predominantly as a means to lessen uncertainty. This is especially true in parenting, where concerns for a child’s future and well-being can dominate our thoughts.

Fear, as discussed, manifests itself when focusing on the future or dwelling on the past. In the context of parenting, this fear often takes the shape of expectations for our children’s future or rumination over past parenting decisions. The article elucidates that fear stemming from future-oriented thinking is essentially about expectations, while fear rooted in the past revolves around rumination. This is particularly resonant in the parenting journey where the desire for our children’s success and happiness can create a landscape of constant worry and anticipation.

Your personal reflection on this topic, specifically your worries about your daughter Trini, underscores the universal nature of parental anxiety. It highlights the challenge of balancing genuine concern for a child’s future with the need to remain present and avoid being overwhelmed by fear. The key takeaway is the recognition that while planning for the future is important, an excessive focus on it can lead to a life dominated by fear and anxiety, detracting from the ability to fully experience and appreciate the present.

Moreover, the article points out that fear is the result of clinging to a specific vision of the future or comparing oneself to a past version. This is particularly poignant in parenting, where the temptation to constantly envision a better future for our children or compare their current state to past stages can become a source of constant worry. The challenge lies in finding a balance between guiding and supporting our children’s growth while accepting the present moment as it is.

In essence, the message to take away is the importance of awareness in our daily lives and in our roles as parents. Recognizing the moments when fear arises from our expectations or comparisons, and understanding that fear loses its hold when we close the doors to the past and future, can help in fostering a more balanced and present-focused approach to parenting.


Read more at: Fear Is a Framing Problem

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