topic: 202111281951- 2 Maxims of Coaching alias: tags:#permanent-note#coaching
My writing (250-300 words)
The 2 Maxims of Coaching
This week, I want to share an insight I got from BJ Fogg. He’s the author of the book Tiny Habits and has done a lot of thinking over the years about behavior, habits, and making changes to ourselves.
In this podcast episode, he mentions his 2 maxims of coaching. They are
- Help people do what they already want to do
- Help people feel successful along the way
You can also apply this to coaching yourself
- Help yourself do what you want to do
No one wants to be unhealthy.
No one wants to be unhappy and feel lazy.
We all want to be better in some way.
The desire is already in place.
We know what we want- we just don’t know how to do it
A coach’s work is to give suggestions, run some experiments with you and help you learn from those tests. That way we can figure out what works and doesn’t work.
If you’re applying this to yourself, you can also try different things that will help you take steps towards your goal.
- Help yourself feel successful along the way
Some of our goals are ambitious.
Running marathons.
Losing 20 pounds.
We won’t get there in a few weeks (or months).
But we need small wins in order to stay motivated.
Otherwise you just lose interest and move on.
A coach’s work is letting you feel like you’re succeeding at every step of the way- not just at the very end.
If you’re applying this to yourself, how can you make it feel like you’re getting wins a little bit at a time?
Coaching well is overwhelming. There’s so much to learn.
BJ Fogg is the author of Tiny Habits. He’s a professor at Stanford and a researcher who focuses on behavior change. To cut through all the coaching tips, BJ Fogg gives 2 clear maxims that shift to focus to your client.
When it doubt, check- where am I on these 2 maxims?
Maxim 1: Help them do what they already want to do
We all want to be better. But getting there isn’t so simple.
Maxim 1 is reminds us: “The goals don’t come from the coach, they come from the client.” As a coach, my goal is to listen to you, understand what your goal is, and then offer my experience to help you do what you already want to do.
Highlight the desire that they already have.
Maxim 2: Help them feel successful
The trick to long term change is to string together small successes.
You might feel like this is cheating- and that you shouldn’t celebrate until you hit you big goal at the end. But the opposite is true. Our brain loves feeling like it’s winning. And by giving it small wins, it’s willing to do more of that. Make your clients feel like they’re already succeeding- in small ways. That will spur them on to more successes.
Use these maxims as a check in- to see if you’re focusing on your clients’ progress
Coaching well is overwhelming. There’s so much to learn.
BJ Fogg is the author of Tiny Habits. He’s a professor at Stanford and a researcher who focuses on behavior change. To cut through all the coaching tips, BJ Fogg gives 2 clear maxims that shift to focus to your client.
When it doubt, check- where am I on these 2 maxims?
Maxim 1: Help them do what they already want to do
We all want to be better. But getting there isn’t so simple.
Maxim 1 is reminds us: “The goals don’t come from the coach, they come from the client.” As a coach, my goal is to listen to you, understand what your goal is, and then offer my experience to help you do what you already want to do.
Highlight the desire that they already have.
Maxim 2: Help them feel successful
The trick to long term change is to string together small successes.
You might feel like this is cheating- and that you shouldn’t celebrate until you hit you big goal at the end. But the opposite is true. Our brain loves feeling like it’s winning. And by giving it small wins, it’s willing to do more of that. Make your clients feel like they’re already succeeding- in small ways. That will spur them on to more successes.
Use these maxims as a check in- to see if you’re focusing on your clients’ progress